Every time I’m at home in Stockholm, planning to go out to dinner or dance with my friends, I ask my two teenage sisters what to wear. They know what’s “in” and bluntly say if I look like shit. Sadly I often get comments like “you’re not gonna wear that are you…?” or “you can’t go out like that.”
After countless nights of hearing these comments and trying out clothes, I have now realized my younger sisters would always be taller, thinner, better looking and trendier than I am. And that’s okay.
When I was a teenager I wanted to be ‘mainstream’. To look like everyone else, jeans, top and WESC hood. Those of us who grew up during the 90s know you should be normal and look like everyone else, but maybe a bit thinner than normal. I have since abandoned that norm. I am short curvy hand have a nice “muffin top” as Julia Roberts calls it in the film Eat Pray Love. Just like Julia Roberts, I know I’m okay just the way I am.
The film was pretty cliché but had a scene with a nice message. Julia is sitting at a restaurant with Tuva Novotny who doesn’t want to eat pizza because she feels fat, then Julia’s character asks: “has anyone seen you naked and then left?” She responds “no” and Julia says “no, because he’s won the lottery, there’s a naked woman in his room and it doesn’t matter how you look.” A clip from the film.
I’m not Julia Roberts or Tuva Novotny but I’ve learned that I am not very thin, I can’t be because I have big breasts and hips and a muffin top I am comfortable with. And my boyfriend is also comfortable with me which makes me relax easier. Even though I still ask my sisters if I look good before I go out at night, I’ve stopped switching clothes when they don’t think I look cool enough. I’m trying to find my own style to my body shape and it doesn’t matter if I look cool or not as long as I am comfortable with the way I dress, because I have noticed, that’s when me and my muffin top look best!
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Matilda Öhlin Knutsson for RealStars